Penny Blood's Black Book » Places to kill time

Petersham Nurseries

Penny Blood — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:33:19 +0000

Until I discovered Petersham Nurseries “Let’s go to Kew Gardens” were 5 words I wasn’t keen on hearing. Kew Gardens is hugely over-rated and expensive. If you’re looking for a nice day out in the park then Richmond Park is a better idea the best part being afternoon tea or lunch at nearby Petersham Nurseries. Being an actual nursery it’s an idyllic setting with potted trees, flowers and stone statues everywhere. Part o it is a fairly expensive restaurant designed to feel like you are outdoors…. Indoors, with a canopy like roof and vines growing up pillars, all the while decorated with antique furniture and old paintings. It’s gorgeous. The café is equally lovely yet more relaxed serving all kinds of cakes, soup, quiche, that kind of thing. It’s a perfect place to make a trip on a sunny day for a cup of tea and a piece of Victoria sponge cake.

http://www.petershamnurseries.com/

143 Petersham Road, Richmond, TW10
020 8605 3627
Restaurant (Monday – Tuesday Closed) Wednesday – Sunday 12.00- 2.45
Cafe (Monday Closed) Tuesday – Saturday 10am – 4.30pm Sunday 11am-4.30pm

Dennis Sever’s House

Penny Blood — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:38:00 +0000

Let me start by saying that I generally hate museums. I find things in glass cases painfully dull. Whenever I visit a new city I’m honestly more inclined to check out the the supermarkets and cafes. On a recent trip to Washington DC, of all the wealth of museums on offer I only went to the Smithsonian to see Seinfeld’s trainers. However the kind of museum I love is the likes of the Dennis Severs House. Back in 1979 an eccentric American by the name of Dennis Severs bought a Georgian townhouse in the heart of Spitalfields. A former home of Huguenot (French Protestant immigrants) silk weavers, he proceeded to turn it into a time capsule of a typical home of a family between the periods of 1724 and 1914. The house is busting at the seems with amazing stuff including antique furniture and knickknacks, a four poster bed adorned with gargoyles, old photographs and every day items. It has countless cosy but elegant rooms and has a great atmosphere, it’s totally believable. The curators have set it with sound effects to give the impression that a family is still living here and with ever room you enter they have just left. This however does not work, it’s a totally pointless addition, they needn’t have bothered the house is brilliant without it. All the family rooms such as the kitchen, drawing rooms and bedroom are set up like they are in current use with fake food and everything, its great. The people who work there though are total freaks though.

http://www.dennissevershouse.co.uk/

18 Folgate Street, London, E1 6BX
020-7247 4013
Every Monday evening (except bank holidays) £12
Every Sunday between 12-4pm last admission 3.15pm, £8 per person. No booking required
Between 12pm and 2pm on the Monday following the first AND third Sunday, price £5. No booking required.

Haunch of Venison

Penny Blood — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:37:02 +0000

I don’t go to galleries very often. This is generally because I HATE THEM. I invariably walk in the front door do a 360 degree spin and walk out again but not without commenting, hopefully within earshot of gallerist/artist/owner whoever, that I can’t understand how the artist could stand back, look at their arrangement of upturned cardboard boxes and stacked newspapers and honestly think, “wow I’m talented” ????? Or the brash abstract paintings that you see in EVERY SINGLE degree show and not realise how painfully insipid it is. However then I’m flooded with feelings of self doubt, did my paintings which seemed so important to me really suck as much as all this? Was my work so vapid and absent of any originality and power? Some rich old lady asks if I paint pets too? “Ok bye bye, fuck off and die now.” The best thing about Haunch of Venison other than the name are the private views. Despite being invite only they are easy enough to get into and instead of cheap wine and warm beer that you have to pay for it’s free cocktails galore (never bother with East End private views on account of this). The space is beautiful, with huge white walled rooms, massively high ceilings and a heavy wooden staircase going over three floors. I have strangely enough liked every show I have seen here. But art’s subjective you may hate it but then you could just take a stroll down Bond street to DKNY and get a cup of tea and an overpriced cupcake, infact just do that galleries are boring.

http://www.haunchofvenison.com

6 Burlington Gardens, London W1S 3ET
020 7495 5050
Monday – Wednesday, Friday 10am – 6pm Thursday 10am-6pm Saturday 10am-5pm

Tate Modern

Penny Blood — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:36:26 +0000

I honestly can’t think of a better way to waste time than going to an art gallery and sometimes I feel like wasting time and on these occasions I come to the Tate Modern. Having said that the crap of the walls is too painful to bear so I generally bypass it entirely (after a moments marvel at the incredible entrance and ground floor known as the ‘Turbine Hall’) and head straight for the brilliant bookshop which has every art book conceivable (more or less) and a vast range of magazines. Tate Modern is a converted power station and the ground floor / entrance reaches floor to ceiling several stories high which renders it unbelievably impressive and it’s even better when they don’t put any crappy art in it. Unfortunately it’s a bit too child friendly so more often than not there’s a bunch of kids rolling around on the floor. There’s a good restaurant on the top floor which although it’s quite expensive has an amazing view of London.

http://www.tate.org.uk/modern/

Bankside, London SE1 9TG
020 7887 8888
Entry is free except for major exhibitions
Sunday – Thursday 10am–6pm Friday – Saturday 10am-10pm
Last admission into exhibitions 5.15pm (Friday and Saturday 9.15pm)

All Star Lanes Bricklane

Penny Blood — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:35:36 +0000

As a rule I hate all sports and bowling is no exception. Like karaoke people always seem to think that bowling will bit ‘rilly rilly fun’ so I’ve been dragged out more times than I’d like to mention. Every time I’ve been here it’s for someone’s birthday but despite the fact it’s such a cheesy idea to go bowling on your birthday I’ve always had a good time. This is in large part due to the fact that I love the way the place looks. It’s very cliche Americana, rockabilly diner but all glossy and new serving the finest American junk food, burgers, fries and milkshakes. I must admit it is a great place to come for an occasion as it gives people who don’t know each other something to do other than make small talk and its fairly cheap. It’s also great to just get dinner as well whether or not you want to go bowling.

http://www.allstarlanes.co.uk/

95 Brick Lane, London E1 6QL
020 7426 9200

Hamstead Heath / Parliment Hill / Kenwood House

Penny Blood — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:34:58 +0000

Now I know I said that I wouldn’t mention parks and the only reason I mention Hampstead Heath is because I got lost there the other day trying to find Kenwood House with Drage who wouldn’t admit he had no idea where he was going. Well I decided that on a sunny day it’s worth getting off the train at Gospel Oak or Hamstead Heath and walking up via Parliment Hill where you get an amazing view of London. A while back a friend who had just moved to Gospel Oak insisted on taking me up there which I found unbelievably tedious as I hate to walk anywhere if I can help and I’m the kind of person who would rather stay in watching MTV than go look at a bloody sunset, but I have to admit that it was indeed worth it.

Hampstead Heath itself feels like the the next best thing to a day in the country as it’s huge, rambling, spacious and unmanicured with acres to literally get lost in. The Hampstead Ponds are also a huge attraction where people (not me) can go swimming, there is even a ladies only pond. Like lido’s and sunsets, people seem to get very excited over them, I personally don’t get it. I hate swimming and outdoors? in Britain?…..???

Kenwood House is a stately home situated at the top of the Heath. The former home of the Russian ballerina Anna Pavlova it’s a large stately house vast lawns and a really great tea room with a lovely outdoor seating area and great cakes, soup, salad, coffee, tea, that kind of thing. It’s a perfect setting although Drage and I brought the average age down by about 30 years.

Hampstead Heath overground station

Eel Pie Island

Penny Blood — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:26:39 +0000

Someone told me once that there was an island in the Thames down by Twickenham only accessible by footbridge where there were art studios to rent. I soon discovered that many of these ‘art studios’ were in fact dilapidated old boats hauled up onto dry land and abandoned left sitting at a jaunty angle, it’s a romantic idea but not very practical. This was merely the beginning of the weirdness that is Eel Pie Island. Next came the miniature gingerbread house/Barbie graveyard. The house looks distinctively smaller than it should be (although someone does live in it) in every proportion and has a front garden wholly adorned with Barbie dolls poking out of the bushes, ground, flower pots and so on. It’s pretty weird. Then there is the small dock yard with piles of ‘rubbish’ that can only be some kind of art installation because who throws out marble sculptures, busts, record players, oriental pots, store mannequins and ornate old doors hmmm? It’s all very overgrown too though, it makes me wonder what kind of people live here? There are only 50 houses and 120 inhabitants although I wonder how they all fit. I would love to live here. Originally a producer of eel pies (one would imagine) Eel Pie Island was home to a genteel 19th Century hotel which hosted ballroom dancing during the 1920’s and 1930’s. Later on it became a jazz venue before popular rock n’ roll and r n’b spot, showcasing the likes of Pink Floyd, Jeff Beck, Yardbirds, The Who and the Rolling Stones. In 1970 it became the UK’s largest hippie commune then in 1971 burnt down and is no more and most people haven’t even heard of it and think I’m making it up.

Twickenham Rail Station

Elms Lester’s Painting Rooms

Penny Blood — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:06:07 +0000

9 out of 10 times I find Art Galleries full of rubbish, whether it’s mindless space fillers or gimmicky foundation art school crap, I always leave feeling bored and frustrated. The art world is constantly using trigger words and abstract terms that sound impressive but rarely mean anything. It’s what I call talking in subtitles, set’s a premise for something interesting but doesn’t follow through. I like all the artists Elms Lester’s represents including Ron English, Phil Frost, Anthony Lister and Adam Neate. I know art is subjective but at least here the artists demonstrate true skill which you can see rather than being presented with an‘artists statement’ which all read the same “…. it’s a Freudian juxtaposition of sexuality and a bunch of other elaborate sentences I have so cleverly strung together to make up for the fact that I have no talent whatsoever”.

http://www.elmslesters.co.uk/

1-3-5 Flitcroft Street, London, WC2H 8DH
020 7836 6747
Tuesday – Saturday 12 – 6pm Thursday 12pm – 8pm

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Abney Park Cemetery

Penny Blood — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:05:35 +0000

Like Voltaire said; “He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend; provided of course he really is dead.” A nice alternative to the sight of blinding white flesh and badly dressed office workers on their lunch break, a reminder of the few sunny days we get here in London, I would recommend a wander in any one of London’s ‘Magnificent Seven’ cemetery’s. Abney Park in Stoke Newington being my favourite. Less famous than Highgate Cemetery but equally beautiful with it’s crumbling gravestones covered in overgrown ivy and moss, this cemetery has been maintained well …… never it appears. Somewhat of a jungle, you have to pick your way along the paths being careful not to trip on the sprawling brambles and nettles. Find a spot on a bench next to one of the many (very friendly and polite I might add) winos and you can enjoy the peace and quiet amongst a field of dead people. Just a note though, it’s also a major gay cruising spot so avoid eye contact.

http://www.hackney.gov.uk/cp-abneypark.htm

Abney Park Cemetery, South Lodge
Stoke Newington High St, London, N16 0LH
020 72757557
Monday – Friday 9am-5pm (office hours). Cemetery open 8am-7pm summer and 8am-4pm winter. Visitor centre is normally open weekdays from 9.30am to 5pm as well as some weekends.